You can feel Autumn stirring in the wind. I feel it coursing through my body with the excitement the season will bring. The end of the summer was consummated to the beat of tribal drums, kissing the face of winter as it slowly creeps towards me. The dark times are coming, rest again to regain the growth for next season. Reaping the last of the harvests to sustain us through death so that we may live again when the sun returns. I have preparations to make, oaths to swear, and the casting off of things unnecessary. It is time, once again, to walk through the veil and stare at the face that is begging me to join her.

I had a wakeful dream last night. It was after a fire ritual, and I was stick fighting with my mentor. It was a heated battle and I dominated. After my mentor conceded defeat, he ordered me down to circle, and then everyone after me. He walked into the hearthstead and followed us down shortly after with a slender bag in hand.

When I walked into circle, I greeted the SE, the N and then the SW of the circle, the locations of the realms. I then continued to walk as everyone filed in, and took my place in the North, in front of the alter.

As my mentor filed in, he stood next to me and I turned to him. He called to the realms, and then called to the gods to bring me before them and recognize my accomplishment in my training. In doing so, he presented me with 2 oaken sticks, stained with the blood of a bull. He also asked me which weapon path I wished to master next. I responded that I wanted to master spear fighting. And thus decreed my intentions to my brothers and sisters, the realms, and the gods.

During the fighting part of the dream, I could feel the heat of a battle raging through me, even though it was only sparring. I could also hear the conversation going on between my sisters. They were talking about my progress and what I was training for, one commented that I knew what I was preparing for, and I remember in my head thinking that I really didn't. My sister smiled wryly, as she knew, and I guess somewhere deep inside me I felt the reason, just the unsuredness of a warrior not yet in first battle, letting the mind overtake the body in fight.

What is in store for me has not yet revealed itself. But I know the answer lies within me.

Today, I made the choice to open my eyes while laying on my mat. I looked up into the clouds and saw the layout of another land, behind the cloud cover. There was much green and high mountains, with deep valleys. It was the only thing in the sky that was not moving. All the clouds between it and me were floating south with the wind.

I saw dragons, morphing into ravens, and out of the blue, there was Eyeore, playing with a baby dragon, before morphing into a gryphon, himself. There was something serene here, even with the sudden apparition of pop-culture from my childhood. Grabbing each fantasy and letting it go as the wind took it away.

The deep blue colouring of the othersea, above me. Incense burning, the fairy-like patterns of the dragonflies chasing their prey around the hedges.

The patterns are revealing themselves, nature is taking care of me.

Reality: we have had serious drainage problems on our property for the last couple of years. As a result in the combination of heavy rains and stagnant water, we now breed mosquitos, especially the Asian Tiger Mosquito. Last year, I decided that we were going to invest in Dragonfly and Mayfly larvae to cut back on the Mosquitos that make it past the chemicals. We didn't have to invest, this year they arrived, and as the summer progresses, we will begin work to attract hummingbirds.

Oftentimes, when I'm called on to describe my religious beliefs, I'm stuck in a bind, as my beliefs go beyond just the religious realm. They seep into every aspect of my being, from political perspectives to the way I evaluate my friendships and other relationships.

The most important thing, I've found, is the ability to step back, observe and evaluate the information that comes in to my conscious. This goes with all that happens in nature, as well. It's important to be open, in all senses, to gain input from the environment, to find the truth in each situation and action.

Separating out of the situation, and being able to evaluate one's own actions is also important, as the saying goes, "You will be known by your actions." If one is unable to evaluate his/her own actions, and unable to admit the wrong, or inconsistency, of those actions, then how can one expect any level of respect when the arrogance of hypocrisy is standing in the way? Given the life and times of current, standing in the middle, or admitting that there is another truth to the contrary, is frowned upon. Those with the loudest voices proclaim the need to be adherent to a hardline view, with no room to analyze the truth that those in the middle acknowledge.

When this comes to spirituality, it lends into the ability to look at the mundane/profane split and be able to distinguish the reflection that one has on the other. This also heads into the research of any given path, where to draw the line between what is fact and what is inferred. While one is not more correct than the other, knowing where the basis lies will reflect upon the knowledge and character of the individual.

This definitely deserves more thought...

I am a knowledge-keeper, walker of the veil. I see many things that others do not, and hear many things that only the deaf distinguish.

I was born in a veil, the in-between time of Samhuinn. I was brought by the crane, who's mark remains on my neck.

I commune with the realms that exist outside outside of my own. I walk freely between them, learning my lessons. I exist out of time and place, choosing to exist only in the moment.

My responsibility is greater than my own self. My opinions of no importance. Reverting, instead to what is best for the greater world and the rest of the connected conscious.

I am a bringer of change. A warrior of old, a healer of now.

I've been meditating a bit of late. Not much other than getting my head cleared of all the clutter. I'm feeling a greater pull towards the ocean, however, which is a good thing. I'm a water baby, always have been. Spent most of my childhood at the beach, indulging the dolphin in me. I fell off that habit after college, but the call is coming loud and clear. I guess you could say I'm doing some spring cleaning of sorts. I have dropped a few boundaries, that were hindering my progress. Of sorts, I can feel a connection, being a child of the Morrighain, and the land that lies beyond the Ninth Wave. I used the phrase during ritual once, in calling to the Ancestors, letting them retreat past the Ninth Wave, back past the veil of Mannanaan. I used to spend quite a bit of time there myself, as a child. Death has always been a fascination for me, not just a desired goal, but a place of peace and comfort. I toyed with death, many a time, to the point staring it in the face is no longer an adrenaline rush. But I hear it call again.

A friend of mine commented about my birthmark, the mark of the crane/stork. It's an animal of gateways, stands in-between the realms. Now, while I don't view it as one of my spirit animals, I can also see its relevance. In regards to me, I'm a walker of the veil. Neither here nor there, male nor female, human nor animal, animal nor plant. My main existence is everywhere, dropping my skin for the freedom of the universe. Taking it up again, to use it to its fullest, dancing, winding around in circles of movement.

Experience, it is what I seek, it is what makes me grow. It is what keeps me going.

You can feel the spring. While it is not official, yet, you can still feel it. This is the time when I really need to crackdown.

I have learned to merge with people, beyond them letting me work in their bodies. I've learned to let go of my body and interact with my surroundings as an energetic part of it. The realization has not only made ritual that much more meaningful, but it allows me to reach out to those close to my heart, but separated by distance. At this point, I don't believe I can ever classify myself as alone, anymore. A quite liberating feeling and experience.