I've been meditating a bit of late. Not much other than getting my head cleared of all the clutter. I'm feeling a greater pull towards the ocean, however, which is a good thing. I'm a water baby, always have been. Spent most of my childhood at the beach, indulging the dolphin in me. I fell off that habit after college, but the call is coming loud and clear. I guess you could say I'm doing some spring cleaning of sorts. I have dropped a few boundaries, that were hindering my progress. Of sorts, I can feel a connection, being a child of the Morrighain, and the land that lies beyond the Ninth Wave. I used the phrase during ritual once, in calling to the Ancestors, letting them retreat past the Ninth Wave, back past the veil of Mannanaan. I used to spend quite a bit of time there myself, as a child. Death has always been a fascination for me, not just a desired goal, but a place of peace and comfort. I toyed with death, many a time, to the point staring it in the face is no longer an adrenaline rush. But I hear it call again.

A friend of mine commented about my birthmark, the mark of the crane/stork. It's an animal of gateways, stands in-between the realms. Now, while I don't view it as one of my spirit animals, I can also see its relevance. In regards to me, I'm a walker of the veil. Neither here nor there, male nor female, human nor animal, animal nor plant. My main existence is everywhere, dropping my skin for the freedom of the universe. Taking it up again, to use it to its fullest, dancing, winding around in circles of movement.

Experience, it is what I seek, it is what makes me grow. It is what keeps me going.

You can feel the spring. While it is not official, yet, you can still feel it. This is the time when I really need to crackdown.

I have learned to merge with people, beyond them letting me work in their bodies. I've learned to let go of my body and interact with my surroundings as an energetic part of it. The realization has not only made ritual that much more meaningful, but it allows me to reach out to those close to my heart, but separated by distance. At this point, I don't believe I can ever classify myself as alone, anymore. A quite liberating feeling and experience.

Glory to the Sun, who's resting time has come. Glory to the Moon, who's light now shines bright. A time of rest to gather strength for the coming season. Planning the crops and what growth is to come.

Stones are the structure of the Earth. Building blocks of the core ground down to make the warm, soft blanket. Allowing the nourishment for things to grow and mature. They are our living ancestors. Predecessors to our feet. Their knowledge is vast, they absorb all that we give them. Their stoic existence brings relaxation and peace. Their movement can bring destruction. They are nature. They are earth. They are us.

I sit with a riverstone in my hand, purchased for the Lughnasadh festivities. It was the one I picked for myself. Smooth and splotched with colour. I feel each facet of it, as I tell it my troubles. The things I need to cast off. It accepts them and the weight lifts. This stone will be the keeper of some of my knowledge. As all stones hold bits of human knowledge. In time, it will be a facilitator of my own mastery, just as Lugh was the master of himself.

The South.
Direction of entry between beginning and end. It is the point of center on the sun travel wheel. It is a point of extreme, not in the middle. Place of the spear, domain of the hawk. Realm of Lugh, place of summer. Place of dedicants, place of light. Entrance of descent into the darkness of mystery.

The spear.
Straight, Never missed its mark, weapon of a master. Symbol of dedication to path. Once released, always follows straight path of truth. Sharp point always pierces heart of target. Mastery required to know when to use it and when to cover it. Thirst for blood requires truth of heart and strength of conviction to resist inner desire for revenge in face of conflict.

Chi: the life energy that connects all without and within

When you draw Chi up, to be used, you open yourself to it. Like every energy, Chi has a feel, a memory. When you open yourself up to it, you can come into touch with that memory. It is that memory that allows us to communicate with the otherworld. Tapping into the natural flow of Chi around us, allows for us to dreamwalk, or astral travel.

When we work magic, we are directing energy. We are directing Chi. In order to work with the energy, we must center, through some type of meditation. Whether it be the elemental wheel, as in Tai Chi, or a simple vocal vibration. That act allows for us to, not only build our own Chi (potential energy), but to also familiarize ourself with the energy we are bringing into our being. Once that is done, we begin to direct that energy. To do so, we formulate and focus on our intent. That intent is carried with the Chi, through its own memory. There is also the process, for the point of healing, of directing Chi to be used as the healee sees fit. It may be used or discarded by the healee.

In the form of communication, Chi does not exist as time or place. It just is. Because of this property, a person can use it to gain knowledge by focusing his/her own Chi on the question at hand. Through that focus, boundaries can be transcended, and the veil can be crossed. One means of doing this is energy-shifting. Similar to the view of some indigenous cultures regarding shape-shifting. First step is to change your Chi frequency to that, which you desire to be. In the case of astral travelling, you shift your Chi outside your physical self. By doing so, you become liminal and recognizable to pass through the veil to the otherworld. This is where my stumbling block exists. I am readily capable of transforming myself, but in transforming back, I lose my link with what I've gained.

The Morrigan - a battle goddess thirst for the blood of the slain. A dark goddess, shrouded in the unknown black of raven's wings. The wise decider of death. Temptress. Keeper of the dark year, giver of rest and recouperation. Keeper of balance, provider. Mother of nature, wisdom goddess of the night. Cold, predecessor of light. Preparation for prosperity. Time of hard work. Red fury. Defender of wild fury. Natural order. Trial of dedication. Spark for desire of hope.

I've sat thinking about how energy gets absorbed and redistributed about the universe, in a method that some people call reincarnation. I've felt the need to look at my views on reincarnation, because I've started to notice different things that conflict with my previous views. When a flower dies in winter, and re-emerges in the spring; is it the same flower in that spot, or a different one? I think it's a different one that grew from the previous one. Just as we humans, and other animals, do. I've read, before, that the Celts believed that we could come back as anything, transient or intransient. Whether or not this is true, is up for speculation, but I agree with it. I think our energy is absorbed and redistributed into what is needed.

When we look into our past lives, are they really lives we've lived? Or are they snippets of someone else's life, who's energy contributed to our current make-up? I'm willing to go out on a limb with my pseudo-scientific background and say that our bodies are what holds our spirit together, and when it dies and releases our spirit, it scatters. Like light particles and that energy becomes fused with other things. What we call past lives, are the little bits of memory that the absorbed energy carries, which would explain why people don't remember their whole lives, just bits and pieces, to know who they were. That would also explain why we can have so many past lives that get remembered. It's just a matter of tapping into those bits and pieces of memory. For me, this is what makes up the otherworld, we become someone/thing else. That would explain why I can remember the tree part of me, as well as the pixie part of me. They are what makes up the current me.

We are our ancestors and our descendants. I really like this phrase, mainly because it shows our interconnectedness with each other. However, I take it one step further and include "our surroundings". Our energies contribute to our environment and our surroundings; our vibrations contribute to how our pets react to us and how we react to them. It also affects the plants around us that we take care of. Like the gods before us, who went underground, and became spirits within nature, we can transform into it. That is how we are capable of shape-shifting, through various methods, and working with the energy of various places and animals. We are able to call on those because they are part of us. It's just all a manner of tapping into that energy and learning how to use it.

Duality
"I am everything, yet nothing at all"

The world in both the physical and spiritual is based on duality. Best seen concept is day and night. Both are different, yet are the same thing. Day brings with it the light and warmth of the sun, night brings the coolness of the dark and the shadows. They are complete opposites of the same spectrum, light/dark, warmth/cold, yet within that, they are the same thing. Follow the sun through its course, and you will never know the dark of night. Follow the moon through its course, and you will never know the light of day. Positive/negative. What are they? They are different ends of a spectrum, yet wrap around into the same thing. Positive comes from negative and negative comes from positive.

The gods. They are everything, yet nothing. They intertwine with each other, yet maintain their individual characteristics and exist independent of each other yet completely dependant upon the other. A symbiosis of sorts where everyone wins. They are the picture within a picture. Each god contributes to a pantheon, which contributes to the entire spirit that creates the whole of being. Nothing exists without itself. Like the man who has no hearing, sight, touch, smell, or speech. Does he exist or does he not? He is a paradox of existance, a duality. He exists because his mind tells him he exists, but he has no input other than his mind to tell him that. He exists to other people because they can see him and use all their senses to tell that he exists. The only input he has is what his mind tells him. Paradox/duality.

Between each one of us flows the animating chemistry that makes us exist. It is everyone, yet no one. It is the life force that causes each one of us to create existance, it flows inside of us and all around us, yet it is not us, but it is. The organism, we are each an organism that contributes to the whole organism. The Earth is a living thing. We are organs of the Earth along with each other thing that lives upon it. The Earth is part of the solar system, which is part of a universe, which is part of an even greater universe.

The gods, they are also a part of the universe, they too are around us and within us. Existing with us, yet are not. We walk with the gods, we are part of the gods, we are the gods. The gods walk with us, they are part of us, they are us. Two sides of the coin. Two ends of the spectrum. We are gods, yet we are not, because we donít realize that. We are not sensitive to what they are unless we allow ourselves to open up the mindís portal into their existance. Once that is done, we become them. We contribute to them, and as a result, contribute to ourselves as well. The greater whole that we each try to deny. We are a small drop of water in a pond, when we move, we cause a ripple effect that is felt by every other drop in that pond. Because of that, nothing we can ever do is independent of others nor is it never felt by others. We can enlighten everyone around us. Like telling someone to smile when they donít feel happy and eventually they will feel happy, and that happiness will begin to start rubbing off on other people, and they too, will feel happy. Ripple effect. Moving in cycles, because there will be a wall or edge of the pond at some point, and it will all start to ripple back to us. That is something some call karma, or is it just a more concrete example of Newtonís Laws of gravity and motion? Throw something up into the air, and it will eventually come down. Throw something away from you, and take away friction, it will eventually nail you in the back of the head. But, on its way, it is going to hit other people and bounce off of them, effecting them in some way. By their being affected, they become part of us, yet they are not because they are independent of us, yet through this idea or object they become tied to us because of what we did to them. They become linked and in turn, we are linked to everyone they are linked with and so on and so forth, till we are all linked. Therefore, we are everyone, yet no one. In that great consciousness, we become lost and cease to exist, but we exist within that consciousness, therefore, we exist, yet we do not.